SILLY SONGS
It Ain't Gonna
Rain No More


Chorus:
It ain't gonna rain no more no more,
It ain't gonna rain no more.
How in the heck can I wash my neck,
If it ain't gonna rain nor more.

A man laid down by the sewer,
And by the sewer he died.
And at the coroner's inquest,
They called it sewerside.

Frog sitting on a lilly pad,
Lookin up in the sky,
Lilly pad broke and the frog fell in,
Got water in his eye.

Peanut sitting on the railroad track,
Little heart a flutter.
Along came the 9:01
Toot toot, peanut butter.

Lulu had a steamboat,
The steamboat had a bell,
Lulu went to heaven,
and the steamboat went toot, toot.

All God's Critters
- Bill Staines

Chorus:
All God's critters got a place in the choir,
Some sing low and some sing higher,
Some sing out loud on the telephone wire,
And some just clap their hands, or paws, or anything they got now.

Listen to the bass, it's the one on the bottom,
Where the bullfrog croaks and hippopotamus
Moans and groans with a big to-do,
The old cow just goes "moo."

The dogs and the cats, they take up the middle,
The honey bee hums and crickets fiddle,
The donkey brays and pony neighs,
And the old coyote howls.

Listen to the top where the little birds sing,
On the melody where the high notes ring,
The hoot owl hollers over everything,
And the jay bird disagrees.

Singing in the night time, singing in the day,
The little duck quacks and is on his way.
The possum ain't got much to say,
And the porcupine talks to himself.

It's a simple song of living sung everywhere,
By the ox and fox and grizzly bear,
The grumpy alligator and the hawk above,
The sly racoon and the morning dove.

National Embalming School

We live for you, we die for you, National Embalming School.
We do our best to make you rest, National Embalming School.
And when you die, we dig a hole to put you in to turn to mold.
we live for you, we die for you, National Embalming School.
Post-mortum, post-mortum, post-mortum, autopsie we must have.
Post-mortum, post-mortum, post-mortum, autopsie we must have.
Cut, slash, gash the body, we must have a reason.
Gad how tthe body stinks, it must be out of season.
We live for you, we die for you National Embalming School.

The Littlest Worm
Tune: Sipping Cider Through a Straw

The littlest worm, the littlest worm (echo, you remember)
I ever saw (echo)
Was stuck inside (echo)
My soda straw (echo, etc)

(all together)
The littlest worm I ever saw, was stuck inside my soda straw.

He said to me
don't take a sip
for it you do
I surly slip

He said to me don't take a sip, for if you do I surely slip.

I took a sip
and he went down
right through my pipes
he must of drown

I took a sip and he went down, right through my pipes he must of drown.

I coughed him up
and he was dead
I buried him
in my counselors bed (or insert a name for counselors)

I coughed him up and he was dead, I buried him in my counselors bed

He was my pal
he was my friend
but now he's gone
and thats the end

He was my pal, he was my friend, but now he's gone and thats the end

That is the end
there is no more
until I meet
that worm once more.

That is the end, there is no more, until I meet that worm once more.

The Unicorn Song

A long time ago when the earth was green
There was more kinds of animals than you'd ever seen
They'd run around free while the earth was being born
But the loveliest of them all was the unicorn

There was green alligators
And long necked geese
Some humpy back camels
And some chimpanzees
Some cats and rats and elephants
but sure as you're born, the loveliest of all was the unicorn

Now God seen some sinnin'
And it gave Him a pain
And He says, "Stand back!
I'm gone to make it rain."
He says, "Hey, Brother Noah,
I'll tell you what to do,
Build me a floating zoo.

And take some of them
Green alligators and long necked geese
Some humpy back camels and some chimpanzees
Some cats and rats and elephants
But sure as you're born
Don't you forget my unicorns."

Old Noah was there to answer the call
He finished up making the ark
Just as the rain started falling
He marched in the animals two by two
And he called out as they went through,
"Hey, Lord, I've got your green alligators,
And long necked geese
Some humpy back camels and some chimpanzees
Some Cats and rats and elephants
But, Lord, so forlorn, I just can't see no unicorns."

Then Noah looked out through the driving rain
Them unicorns were hiding, playing silly games
Kicking and splashing while the rain was pouring
Oh them silly unicorns

There was green alligators and long necked geese
Some humpy back camels and some chimpanzees
And Noah cried, "Close the door cause the rain is pouring
And we just can't wait for them old unicorns."

The ark started moving, adrifting with the tides
Them unicorns looked up from the rocks and they cried
And the waters came down and sort of floated them away
And that's why you'll never see a unicorn to this very day

You'll see green alligators and long necked geese
Some humpy back camels and some chimpanzees
Some cats and rats and elephants
But sure as you're born, You're never gonna see no unicorns.

My Dog Rover
(Tune: I"m Looking Over a Four-Leaf Clover)

I'm looking over my dead dog Rover
That I overran with the mower.
One leg is missing, another is gone,
One leg is scattered all over the lawn.
No need explaining, the one remaining,
Is stuck in the kitchen door.
I'm looking over my dead dog Rover
That I overran with the mower.


Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts

Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts,
Mutilated monkey meat,
Little birdie's dirty feet,
Great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts,
And I forgot my spoon.

Tom the toad

(Tune: Oh, Christmas Tree)

Oh Tom the Toad, Oh Tom the Toad
Why did you jump into the road?
Oh Tom the Toad, Oh Tom the Toad
Why did you jump into the road?
You were so big and green and fat
But now you're small and red and flat.
Oh Tom the Toad, Oh Tom the Toad
Why did you jump into the road?

Oh Tom the Toad, Oh Tom the Toad
Why are you lying in the road?
Oh Tom the Toad, Oh Tom the Toad
Why are you lying in the road?
You did not see that care ahead
And you were flattened by the tread.
Oh Tom the Toad, Oh Tom the Toad
Why are you lying in the road?

Oh Sue the Skunk, Oh Sue the Skunk
Why do you make my tires go thunk?
Oh Sue the Skunk, Oh Sue the Skunk
Why do you make my tires go thunk?
You did not look from East to West
Now on the road there's such a mess.
Oh Sue the Skunk, Oh Sue the Skunk
Why do you make my tires go thunk?

Oh Sam the Snake, Oh Sam the Snake
Why do you lie out there and bake?
Oh Sam the Snake, Oh Sam the Snake
Why do you lie out there and bake?
You did not see that truck go by
Now you look like a butterfly.
Oh Sam the Snake, Oh Sam the Snake
Why do you lie out there and bake?

Oh Possum Pete, Oh Possum Pete
There's nothing left but hair and feet
Oh Possum Pete, Oh Possum Pete
There's nothing left but hair and feet
Oh Possum Pete, Oh Possum Pete
There's nothing left but hair and feet
You thought you'd beat that bus across
Now you look like a pile of moss.

Arm'dillo Tex, Arm'dillo Tex,
Why are you looking so perplexed?
Arm'dillo Tex, Arm'dillo Tex,
Why are you looking so perplexed?
Across the yellow line you strayed,
The truck hit you - like a grenade!
Arm'dillo Tex, Arm'dillo Tex,
Why are you looking so perplexed?

Oh Froggie Fred, Oh Froggie Fred,
Why do you lie there stone-cold dead?
Oh Froggie Fred, Oh Froggie Fred,
Why do you lie there stone-cold dead?
You didn't look as you jumped out,
A ten-ton truck ran up your snout!
Oh Froggie Fred, Oh Froggie Fred,
Why do you lie there stone-cold dead?

Oh Swallow Sam, Oh Swallow Sam,
What turned your body into jam?
Oh Swallow Sam, Oh Swallow Sam,
What turned your body into jam?
In the air you'd quickly speed,
An eighteen-wheeler made you bleed.
Oh Swallow Sam, Oh Swallow Sam,
What turned your body into jam?

Oh Doggie Spot, Oh Doggie Spot,
Upon the road you're such a blot.
Oh Doggie Spot, Oh Doggie Spot,
Upon the road you're such a blot.
Out in the lane you boldly went,
Now your bod's not worth a cent!
Oh Doggie Spot, Oh Doggie Spot,
Upon the road you're such a blot.

Oh Bunny Ben, Oh Bunny Ben,
Why is your body flat and thin?
Oh Bunny Ben, Oh Bunny Ben,
Why is your body flat and thin?
Out on the road you quickly jumped,
You didn't count on getting bumped.
Oh Bunny Ben, Oh Bunny Ben,
Why is your body flat and thin?

Oh Billy Bat, Oh Billy Bat,
Why are you lying still like that?
Oh Billy Bat, Oh Billy Bat,
Why are you lying still like that?
Along the road you swooped and flapped,
But a trucker's windshield got you zapped!
Oh Billy Bat, Oh Billy Bat,
Why are you lying still like that?

Oh Turtle Ted, Oh turtle Ted,
Your shell's all broken - so's your head.
Oh Turtle Ted, Oh turtle Ted,
Your shell's all broken - so's your head.
In the road you thought you'd travel,
Now you're ground into the gravel.
Oh Turtle Ted, Oh turtle Ted,
Your shell's all broken - so's your head.

She'll Be Coming 'Round the Mountain

She'll be coming 'round the mountain when she comes. (Toot Toot!)
She'll be coming 'round the mountain when she comes. (Toot Toot!)
She'll be coming 'round the mountain,
She'll be coming 'round the mountain,
She'll be coming 'round the mountain when she comes. (Toot Toot!)

2. She'll be driving six white horses when she comes. (Whoa back!)
3. Oh, we'll all go out to meet her when she comes. (Hi babe!)
4. Oh, we'll kill the old red rooster when she comes. (hack hack!)
5. Oh, we'll all have chicken and dumplings when she comes. (Yum Yum!)
6. She'll have to sleep with Granny when she comes. (Snore Snore!)
7. Tell me do you know what coming 'round the mountain?
(spoken at the end:)
Then why are we singing this stupid song?

Whaddatenchew

Whadden-chew!
Bo-do-skaden-dottin--Whadden-chew!
Isch-ditten-little-ditten, Bo-do-skaden-dottin-Whaddaten-chew!
Itten-ditten-little-ditten-otten-dotten-little-dotten, Ish-pa-da-le-ottin, Bo-do-skaden-dottin-Whaddaten-chew!
Knowledgeable!

Eat a Small Squirrel

Sung to the tune of "It's a small world"

Chorus:
Eat a small squirrel at the hall
Eat a small squirrel at the hall
Eat a small squirrel at the hall
Eat a small squirrel at the dining hall

It's a squirrel with ketchup, it's a squirrel with bread
It's a squirrel with mustard, we hope it's dead
It's a squirrel that is fried, it's a squirrel that is boiled
Eat a small squirrel at the hall


Bill Grogan's Goat


Bill Grogan's goat
Was feeling fine
Ate three red shirts
Right off the line
He took a stick
Gave him a whack
And tied that rope
To the railroad track

The whistle blew
The train grew nigh
That goofy goat
Was doomed to die
He gave three groans
Of mortal pain
Coughed up that shirt
And flagged the train

The Birdie Song II

(song is sung as a repeat after me, as loud as you can)

Early in the morning (early in the morning)
When I'm fast asleep
I heard a little birdie
Going tweet, tweet
And the little birdie
Has a funny name
It's
Called
Iga-Flagga-Fleega-Floagga-Ish-ka-bish-ka-nogga
-nogga-Iga-Flagga-fleega-flagga Birdie

Gonna buy some bird seed
For my window sill
Just to keep him quiet
Just to keep him still
It's for the little birdie
With the funny name
It's
Called
Iga-Flagga-Fleega-Floagga-Ish-ka-bish-ka-nogga
-nogga-Iga-Flagga-fleega-flagga Birdie

Nairobi Basketball Song

Oh, we're from Nairobi...
Our team is a good one...
We play the Watoosies...
They're seven feet tall...

The Cannibals May eat us
But they'll Never beat us
'Cause we're from the Nairobi
And we're from Nairobi
And we're on the ball.

Singing....
Un-ga-wah
Un-ga-wah
Un-ga-wah
Un-ga-wah-wah
Singing....
Un-ga-wah
Un-ga-wah
Un-ga-wah
Un-ga-wah-wah

We're from Nairobi and we're on the ball.

Billboards
(Tune: Superfragilisticespyalladocious)

As I was walking down the street one dark and gloomy day,
I came upon a billboard and much to my dismay,
The sign was torn and tattered from the storm the night before,
The wind and rain had done it's work and this it what I saw:

"Smoke Coca-Cola Cigarettes -- chew Wrigley's Spearmint beer --
Kennel Ration Dog Food keeps your wife's complexion clear;
Simonize your baby with a Hershey's candy bar --
And Texaco's the beauty cream that's used by all the stars!"

"So take your next vacation in a brand new Fridgidaire-
Learn to play piano in your winter underwear --
Doctors say that babies should smoke until they are three,
And people over 65 should bathe in Lipton Tea!"
(slowly) ....in flow-thru tea bags.

The Grand Old Captain Kirk
[Tune: Grand Old Duke of York]

The noble Captain Kirk, he had 500 men.
He beamed them up to the Enterprize,
And he beamed down again.

And when they're up, they're up,
And when they're down, they're down,
And when they're only halfway up,
They're nowhere to be found.

Flee Fly

1. Fee
2. Fee Fly
3. Fee Fly Flow
4. Kum a lotta, kum a lotta, kum a lotta vee stay.
5. Oh no, no not the vee stay.
6. Hex a meeny hex a meeny oh walla walla meeny
Des a meeny hex a meeny oh walla wa
7. Be Billy Oaten scoten bo bo be de dooten
Bo bo be de dotten
Bo Bo be de dotten
Shhhhh.

Froggie

Dog
Dog Cat
Dog Cat Mouse
Froggie!!!
Itsy Bitsy Teenie weenie Little-bitty Froggie!
Jump Jump Little Froggie
Gather up all the little wormies and spiders
Wormies and spiders, scrum-didili-icious
Ribbit Ribbit Ribbit Ribbit Croak

Oh, How I Hate to Get up in The Morning

Oh, how I hate to get up in the morning.
Oh, how I'd love to remain in bed.
For the hardest part of all,
Is to hear the bugler call;
You've got to get up,
You've got to get up,
You've got to get up in this morning.

Someday I'm going to murder the bugler,
Someday they're going to find him dead,
I'll amputate his reveille
and step upon it heavily,
And spend the rest of my life in bed.

I Met a Bear
[Tune: Sipping Cider Through a Straw]

The other day, I met a bear,
Out in the woods, away out there. [Point.]

He looked at me, I looked at him,
He sized up me, I sized up him.

He says to me, "Why don't you run?"
"'Cause I can see, you have no gun."

I says to him, "That's a good idea."
"Now legs get going, get me out of here!"

I began to run, away from there,
But right behind me was that bear.

And on the path ahead of me,
I saw a tree, Oh glory be.

The lowest branch was ten feet up,
I'd have to jump and trust to luck.

And so I jumped into the air,
But I missed that branch away up there.

Now don't you fret, and don't you frown,
I caught that branch on the way back down.

That's all there is, there ain't no more,
Unless I met that bear once more.

Skips Got a Head Like a Ping Pong Ball
(tune Lone Ranger Theme - William Tell Overture)

Skips got a head like a ping pong ball
Skips got a head like a ping pong ball
Skips got a head like a ping pong ball
Like a piiiiiiiiiiing pong ball
ping pong (seven times) ball
ping pong (6 times) Ball
ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping PONG

(Second verse is the same only say pong where you say ping in the first verse and visa versa) - You can also change the name to your favourite hairless scouter!!!

Summer Camp
[Tune: Green Grow the Rushes]

I'll sing you one-o, we are the campers-o.
What is your one-o?
One is one for summer camp, and ever more shall be it so!

I'll sing you two-o, we are the campers-o.
What is your two-o?
Two, two, tie dyed shirts, drying in the breeze-o
One is one for summer camp, and ever more shall be it so!

[Continue: adding each verse and repeating backwards to, "One is one for summer camp, and ever more shall be it so!"]

Three, three, the mosquitoes [ouch!];
Four for the icy waters;
Five for the kyacks on the lake;
Six for the midnight hikers;
Seven for the evening thunder storms;
Eight for the outhouse cleaners;
Nine for the yummy cookouts;
Ten for the caterpillars;
Eleven for eleven hours' sleep all week;
Twelve for the awesome counselors.

Scout WETspers

Softly falls the rain today
As our campsite floats away
Silently, each Scout should ask
Did I bring my SCUBA mask?
Have I tied my tent flaps down,
Learned to swim so I won't drown,
Have I done, and will I try
Everything to keep me dry?

The Worm Song

Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I'm gonna eat some worms,
big fat juicy ones, small skinny slimy ones, see how the big ones squirm
First you bite the heads off then you suck the juice out tthen you throw
the skins away. Nobody knows how I survive on worms three times a day.
The first one was easy, the second the squeezy, the third one got caught
in my throat. Nobody knows how I survive on worms three times a day.

The Damper Song

Oh you push the damper in and you pull the damper out
and the smoke goes up the window just the same
Just the same
Just the same
And the smoke goes up the chimney just the same.

(Each time you sing it through, take out one word and only use motions simbolizing pushing, pulling, smoke going up, and just the same.

Gilligan's Island

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
a tale of a fateful trip.
It started from this tropic port,
aboard this tiny ship.

The mate was a mighty sailing man,
the skipper brave and sure.
Five passengers set sail that day,
for a three hour tour.
a three hour tour.

The weather started getting rough,
the tiny ship was tossed.
If not for the courage of the fearless crew,
the minnow would be lost,
the minnow would be lost.

The ship struck ground on the shores of this uncharted desert isle,
`with Giligan, the skipper too. The millionaire and his wife.
The moviestar, the professor and maryann, here on giligan's isle.

So this is the tale of our castaways,
they're here for a long, long time.
They'll have to make the best of things,
it's an uphill climb.

The first mate and the skipper too,
will do their very best,
to make the others comfortable,
in their tropic island nest.

No Phone! No Boat! No Motorcar
Not a single luxury.
Like Robinson Crusoe
As primitive as can be.

So join us here each week my friends,
you're sure to get a smile,
from seven stranded castaways,
Here on Giligan's Isle!.

There were Three Jolly Fishermen

There were three jolly fishermen,
There were three jolly fishermen,
There were three jolly fishermen,
Fisher, fisher, men, men, men,
Fisher, fisher, men, men, men,
There were three jolly fishermen.

The first one's name was Abraham,
The first one's name was Abraham,
The first one's name was Abraham,
Abra, Abra, ham, ham, ham,
Abra, Abra, ham, ham, ham,
The first one's name was Abraham.

The second one's name was I-I-saac,
The second one's name was I-I-saac,
The second one's name was I-I-saac,
I-I, I-I, saac, saac, saac,
I-I, I-I, saac, saac, saac,
The second one's name was I-I-saac.

The third one's name was Ja-a-cob,
The third one's name was Ja-a-cob,
The third one's name was Ja-a-cob,
Ja-a, Ja-a, cub, cub, cub,
Ja-a, Ja-a, cub, cub, cub,
The third one's name was Ja-a-cob.

They all went up to Jericho,
They all went up to Jericho,
They all went up to Jericho,
Jer-i, Jer-i, cho, cho, cho,
Jer-i, Jer-i, cho, cho, cho,
They all went up to Jericho.

They should have gone to Amsterdam,
They should have gone to Amsterdam,
They should have gone to Amsterdam,
Amster, amster, shh, shh, shh,
Amster, amster, shh, shh, shh,
They should have gone to Amsterdam.

Pink Pajamas
(Tune: Battle Hymn of the Republic)

I wear my pink pajamas in the summer when it's hot.
I wear my flannel nighties in the winter when it's not.
And sometimes in the springtime and sometimes in the fall,
I jump right in between the sheets with nothing on at all.

Glory, glory, Hallelujah;
Glory, glory, what's it to ya?
Balmy breezes blowing through ya,
With nothing on at all.

Our Sergeant Major

He was flying a Flying Fortress at forty thousand feet
He was flying a Flying Fortress at forty thousand feet
He was flying a Flying Fortress at forty thousand feet
But he ain't gonna fly no more

He didn't see the fighters when they pounced him from the sun
He didn't see the fighters when they pounced him from the sun
He didn't see the fighters when they pounced him from the sun
So he ain't gonna fly no more.

He heard a bang, the plane broke up and spread across the sky
He heard a bang, the plane broke up and spread across the sky
He heard a bang, the plane broke up and spread across the sky
And it ain't gonna fly no more

He jumped without a parachute from forty thousand feet
He jumped without a parachute from forty thousand feet
He jumped without a parachute from forty thousand feet
But he ain't gonna jump no more

They scraped him off the tarmac like a dollop of strawberry jam
They scraped him off the tarmac like a dollop of strawberry jam
They scraped him off the tarmac like a dollop of strawberry jam
And he ain't gona jump no more

They spread him on a postcard and they sent him home to Mum
They spread him on a postcard and they sent him home to Mum
They spread him on a postcard and they sent him home to Mum
'cause he ain't gonna jump no more

They buried him in a matchbox at the bottom of the yard
They buried him in a matchbox at the bottom of the yard
They buried him in a matchbox at the bottom of the yard
'cause he ain't gonna jump no more

It's a lie

I was born a hundred thousand years ago (years ago)
And there's nothing in this world that I don't know (I don't know)
I saw Peter, Paul and Moses playing ring around the roses
And I'll lick the man who says it isn't so.

Chorus:
It's a lie. Itís a lie.
Ship ahoy, ship ahey, ship a hi-yi-yi
Wel, I sailed the seven seas in my dirty dungarees
But I never, never, never saw a Mermaid (A mermaid)

I saw Satan when he looked the Garden o'er
I saw Eve and Adam driven from the door
I was round the corner peekin' at the apple they were eatin'
In fact, I'm the guy that ate the core.

I saw Cain kill Abel in the glade
And I know the game the poker that was played
I was hiding in the shrub when we hit him with a club
And I know it was a diamond not a spade.

I saw Israel in the battle of the Nile
Where the arrows flew thick and fast and wild
When David with his sling popped Goliath on the wing
I was doin'forty seconds to the mile.

I saw Jonah when he shoved off in the whale
And I thought he'd never live to tell the tale
But old Jonah'd eaten garlic and he gave that whale the clolic
And it coughed him up and let him out of jail.

I saw Caesar when he crossed the Rubicon
In fact I built the bridge he crossed it on
I saw Hannibal at home, Nero building Rome
And I even saw the fall of Babylon.

I saw Sampson when he laid the village cold
I saw Daniel tame the lions in the hold
I helped build the tower of Babel up as high as they were able
And there's lots of other things I haven't told.

You may not think this tale of mine is true
But what difference does it really make to you
I've been feeding on this line just to while away the time
But now I'm gonna quit because I'm through.

The Cannibal King

(This can be done with characters)

The Cannibal King with the big nose ring fell in love with a beautiful maiden,
And every night by the pale moon light ove the hill he came.

He hugged and he kissed his pretty little miss under the bamboo tree,
And all through the night by the pale moon light it sounded like this to me...

Repeat twice: Varump (kissing sound twice)
Varump (kissing sound twice)
VARUMP ADEE ADEE AA-E-A